The person who marries you might be a priest, a professional officiant, or your college roommate who got ordained online last week. What you “tip” depends entirely on who they are.
Let’s break it down.
Religious officiants
$100 to $500, given as a donation to the house of worship.
When a priest, rabbi, imam, or other religious leader performs your ceremony, you typically don’t tip them directly. Instead, you make a donation to their church, synagogue, mosque, or other institution.
This isn’t just etiquette—many clergy are restricted from accepting personal tips. The donation is the proper channel.
How much? $100-500 depending on:
- Your relationship with the officiant and congregation
- Whether you’re a member of the congregation (members sometimes pay less)
- The complexity of the ceremony (premarital counseling, special traditions, etc.)
- Your budget
Ask the church office if there’s a suggested donation amount. Many have standard fees or ranges.
Secular/professional officiants
$50 to $100 as a personal tip.
Professional officiants who aren’t affiliated with a religious institution are running a business. You’ve already paid their fee. A tip is a nice extra for good work, not an obligation.
$50 is a solid baseline. Go toward $100 if they:
- Wrote a custom ceremony
- Spent extra time with you in meetings
- Handled something unexpected gracefully (weather, sound issues, etc.)
The friend who got ordained
$0 to $150, plus a thoughtful gift.
This one’s tricky because there’s no standard. Your friend isn’t doing this for money—they got ordained because they wanted to marry you.
Options:
- A heartfelt thank-you and a nice gift (not cash)
- Cash ($100-150) if you know they’d appreciate it
- Covering their wedding-related expenses (outfit, travel, etc.)
The gift route often feels more appropriate. Think: a nice bottle of something, a framed photo from the ceremony later, a handwritten letter, or an experience you can share together.
Cash works if your friendship is like that. Just make sure it doesn’t come across as “paying” your friend for a favor.
When to give it
Religious officiants: Before or after the ceremony. Some couples leave the donation envelope with the church office. Others hand it to the officiant’s assistant. Ask the office what’s normal.
Professional officiants: After the ceremony works well. Hand them the envelope before they leave. Or mail it with a thank-you card if you forget in the moment.
Friends: Anytime. The gift can come later—you’re not going to forget to thank the person who married you.
What if the ceremony was at a venue, not a church?
If a religious officiant travels to your venue, the donation etiquette stays the same. You’re still giving to the institution, not the individual.
Professional officiants who travel to you: tip the same as above. Their fee should already include travel, but the tip is for their personal service.
Example scenarios
Scenario 1: You’re Catholic, getting married in your parish by a priest who’s known your family for years. He did three premarital counseling sessions.
Donation: $300 to the parish, plus a personal thank-you note to Father Mike.
Scenario 2: You hired a professional officiant from a wedding vendor site. She was responsive, wrote a beautiful ceremony, and kept things running smoothly.
Tip: $75 cash in an envelope after the ceremony.
Scenario 3: Your best friend from college flew in to officiate. He got ordained online and spent weeks writing something meaningful.
Gift: A $200 watch he’d been eyeing, plus a handwritten note about how much it meant to have him do this.
Don’t overthink it
Officiants are generally not in this for the tip money. They care about performing a meaningful ceremony. A genuine thank-you note matters as much as the dollars.
Need to figure out tips for your other vendors? Our free calculator covers officiants and 17 other vendor categories.